you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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