If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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