Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
