I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
