so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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