your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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