The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
worst night to have a conscience
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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