i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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