Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
