youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
