I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
