So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How does one acquire holy water?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize