She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
