You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
