No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
