dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
