Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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