Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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