i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it was like eating out sand paper
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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