I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
