How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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