Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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