They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
