Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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