oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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