the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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