It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
only you would photoshop your dick
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
