apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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