Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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