You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
