I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
