i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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