my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
