People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
