i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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