We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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