Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
