It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
