That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
