i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
