"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize