Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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