She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
