I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
