No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
