My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
