Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
