I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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