Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize