I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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