on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
