And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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