I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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