Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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