Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
