i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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