Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
