if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You can't motorboat a personality
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
