she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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