never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
