I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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