I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
