you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
