that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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