it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
