You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
