I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
MIDGETS
????
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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