He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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