he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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