Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
