Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just gift wrapped bread.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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