i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
