I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
