I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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