I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
