so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
