It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize